I need to go to the show tomorrow night. I NEED a night out where I can scream and dance and sing along with a crowd. I haven't been to any concerts in about a year, and there's just something so freeing about them. You get crushed in the crowd of sweaty, flailing fans and dodge arms and fists and feet and you don't care that you are claustrophobic or hate groups of people. You forget that loud noises bother you and crowds make you panic. Because you are a part of something. The crowd is one, the music is the binder. The beat and the noise and the vibrations are the heartbeat that make you GO. It's pure adrenaline. It's the need for survival in this stampede of people. It's the ability to scream and scream and scream and no one can even hear you because the speakers drown you out. You are alive, but you are invisible, you are not an individual but a shadow or an arm, or a leg, but not a person. It's too loud and too cramped for you to be a person. No one can hear you, no one can see you, so no one can judge you or criticize you. You are just another limb in this moving mass of human electricity.
hello, hello!
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profile.
This is the section of my profile that lets you know the run down of who I am, or rather, who I think I am, or who I want you to think I am. I'm never any good at these because I change on a daily basis.
Usually though, I am an introvert. I live my life in words, finding myself in lyrics, books, poetry, and my own writing. I'm kind of a loner, and usually like to be left to my own thoughts. I'm a survivor, and I'm trying to not live so much in the past,
but in the present and the future. In the Fall I will be starting school full time to major in paralegal studies. It took me a long time to figure out what I wanted to do with my life, and I think I've finally got it. I like to learn things. I love the study
of psychology, sociology, sciences, history... everything but math. I'm an avid reader and try to read at least two books a month, but usually it's more like four or five. This blog is to try to find beauty and hope in the everyday mundane parts of life.
To try to focus on the positive, instead of getting lost in my own head. To try to stay connected, make new friends, and chronicle this part of my life. It's a much needed resurrection after a very long hiatus from journaling, as I used to write every single
day in high school, and have boxes and boxes of journals filled with my thoughts and ideas. I hope to continue that trend now that I have this site. See my often updated reading list here!
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